Something for Jade

I am never failed to be insipired by someone I knew from my days at Seraya. Jade is her name and Jade is just as beautiful as her name suggests.

I have nothing much to talk today till I read her often updated blog and felt so damn ashamed that I feel so tiny, virtually insignificant.

To be utterly honest, till today I am still a lil' reserved in carrying up a conversation with her. The best I did is through words. I am not good for verbalization of my own thoughts & emotions.I can't, just can't be upfront about my own feelings infront of others.(Not even to Jason nor my own parents.)
I wish I can talk as well as I on the phone during work. But hey, that's work and work is a shield. You don't need to bear your own feelings when you go to outside.
I feel comfortable using words then saying them and perhaps that's how I am made to be.

I knew little of her,I admit. Jade was not the one I often hung out with then. (Ming was.) As much as I dislike the smoke, I still love hanging out with her then.
Despite her energy, despite her smile & laughter, despite her charm & sweetness, Jade was/is still fighting to exhibit that daily. I knew little of her relationships then and she with someone undeserving then?
I knew not much...

3 years passed and I am still very flattered by the testiomials she left for me recently. I was someone insipiring??Get real. But I thought you wouldn't be able to see yourself well to others and maybe, even if it's a bit, I am very honoured for someone like her to tell me that.

Having to read her blog recently does keep me more updated. I read daily but I don't leave comments all the time. Sometimes I just don't know what to say, I felt my vocab is so limited and plain to comment. And I just have no idea...what to say.
It's like seeing a teacher upset, do you know what to tell your teacher to do? You instantly feel so small and all you can do is...just to listen?

So I was back to being 'ashamed' of myself.
She has so many troubles on her own since young till now and damn, she's not even in the pink of health. But she has so many beautiful dreams to share, those that you thought you would only read in those SUCCESSFUL or ORDINARY but EXTRA-ORDINARY people's acheivements in magazines or TVs.
I am not sure how many she had done but knowing Jade, those dreams won't just remain as words. Even if they(her dreams) can't be complete, they are just close to it or at the very least, they were attempted by her.

Look at me. I am blessed by many things in life and all I am close to my so called dreams is just to pen them down. PEN THEM DOWN!
That's the first step and seriously, if there's a second step I would have done it.
One restriction would have be my parents. I don't mean them as a constraint but trying to have more time for my own stuff would means less for them. Like I've said, I don't talk to them all the time. We don't have family conversations. But I thought my prescence would somehow ease the hollowness inbetween.

Excuses or Reasons. Words or Songs. I just can't explain enough.
I usually know how to write in my blog and today, all the words just seem a misfit and stupid.

Nonetheless..I somehow wish Jade to read this. Wish to let her know that I do always think of her even the times we are not together, even though we really each parted our ways 3 years back(physically.) But I wish to tell her that she is one of the strongest person I've ever known and she will always be one of the greatest insipirational source.

Ling is just someone how feels, thinks more than she shows. She is easily bored by the mundane stuff in life and when she is, she finds strength in people like Jade.
Although I am starting later than I should, but I am appreciating each day better than I had.

The world can't do enough of Jade.=)